I Believe in Isaac

To the Weatherman, An Ode, To the Commoner, A Woe

Posted in Uncategorized by isaacmcphee on June 18, 2009

We, as a people, don’t much like weathermen/meteorologists. They are the misplaced targets of our wrath.

Sure, we like them just fine when their predictions turn out correct, but just as soon as they make the slightest misstep, we turn on them like so many rabid wolves. The cynics among us (and surely they outnumber the rest, which is sad) are all-too quick to judge the humble student of the weather.

But have we really fallen so far as a society that we would dare speak with loathing of these people of great honor who have chosen to devote the whole of their professional lives to public service, using some of the most advanced scientific and mathematical principles ever devised for no other purpose than to tell us if it is or isn’t going to rain on our vacations?

Could there be a more noble profession than this? Could there be a more perfect union of brilliance and benevolence?

Imagine this: You are a weatherman/woman/person. You’ve had a rough week. You called for a thirty percent chance of rain on Saturday and people were angry when it actually started raining. You got some hate mail. Then on Sunday you asserted that the day would be warm, but mostly cloudy – but the clouds never came. More anger.

But the weather never sleeps. People need to be informed. So you toil over your radar screens and your computer monitor, checking the conditions in every corner of the nation, the low pressure system moving across the Midwest, the clouds forming over the great lakes, the ocean currents, the unseasonable rainfall in Zimbabwe… Into your sophisticated models you insert every variable you can think of and more; you run through every play in the book until you’re finally ready to make your prediction; but still it is just that, a prediction. Nothing more. People expect more, but they will never get it. In the weather there are no absolutes; there is only probability. But people don’t understand that. They refuse. They are stubborn and somewhat shaped like potatos.

When the weather report is correct, we take no notice. When it is wrong, we seethe. We are a fickle species who continues to go back, day by day, and check the weather reports no matter what darkness is in our hearts. We are excited to see that it will be sunny on the day of our trip to the beach; sad that it will be overcast. Why? Because somewhere deep inside we know that more often than not, the meteorologist is our friend; out to help us in every possible way. But we will never admit it.

We are a fallen and ungrateful people. We feel such depravity within ourselves that we seek to shake off our burdens onto something other than ourselves. I hesitate not a moment to admit my own guilt.

Quite frankly, I’ve had enough. Forever more I will trust and respect the practitioner of weather reporting. My cause is just and my motives are true.

You are welcome to join me in my solemn declaration.


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